Privacy Policy
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Privacy Policy

Sigh. Do we really have to do this?

Right fine.

The only interesting thing on this page is the opt out of analytics. If you want that, it's below.

You may choose to prevent this website from aggregating and analyzing the actions you take here. Doing so will protect your privacy, but will also prevent the owner from learning from your actions and creating a better experience for you and other users.

Rest of this is standard stuff with added sarcasm.

Who we are

It's me. Who do you think it is? What's this in the privacy page template. "Suggested text: Our website address is:"

Oh, for heaven's sake. Yes, that's the address. Why, what else were you expecting?


Apparently, when visitors leave comments on the site we collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.

An anonymised string created from your email address (also called a hash) may be provided to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it.

The Gravatar service Privacy Policy is available here: After approval of your comment, your profile picture is visible to the public in the context of your comment. Don't ask me what this means, it's the text WordPress gave me.


If you upload images to the website, you should avoid uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included. Visitors to the website can download and extract any location data from images on the website. I don't think you can do that on this site, but that's a bloody stupid thing to go.


Christ, are you still reading this? Don't you have anything better to do?

If you leave a comment on our site you may opt in to saving your name, email address and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. These cookies will last for one year.

If you visit our login page, we will set a temporary cookie to determine if your browser accepts cookies. This cookie contains no personal data and is discarded when you close your browser.

When you log in, we will also set up several cookies to save your login information and your screen display choices. Login cookies last for two days, and screen options cookies last for a year. If you select "Remember Me", your login will persist for two weeks. If you log out of your account, the login cookies will be removed.

If you edit or publish an article, an additional cookie will be saved in your browser. This cookie includes no personal data and simply indicates the post ID of the article you just edited. It expires after 1 day.

I suppose Matomo is a cookies issue as well. Here's the opt out again.

You may choose to prevent this website from aggregating and analyzing the actions you take here. Doing so will protect your privacy, but will also prevent the owner from learning from your actions and creating a better experience for you and other users.

Actually, to be fair, analytics does get a lot of information. If you are a stalker or a secret admirer, I may have worked out who you are and seen which pages you visited.

Embedded content from other websites

Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website.

These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website.

To be fair, there's at least one YouTube video embedded on this and God know what Google tries to get out of you if you're not careful.

Who we share your data with

I'm pretty sure you can't get anywhere near a password reset, but the template I worked from is determined to be a shop for selling ice creams, so who knows what functionality exists in this site that I don't know about.

Anyway, if you request a password reset, your IP address will be included in the reset email. Apparently. And let me know how you managed that.

How long we retain your data

Right, let's carry on with more of this "suggested text" malarkery.

If you leave a comment, the comment and its metadata are retained indefinitely. This is so we can recognise and approve any follow-up comments automatically instead of holding them in a moderation queue.

For users that register on our website (if any), we also store the personal information they provide in their user profile. All users can see, edit, or delete their personal information at any time (except they cannot change their username). Website administrators can also see and edit that information.

I'm mildly amused by the standard text here using the word "we", as if I might day be such a famous playwright I'll be able to employ a team of people to run my website for me.

What rights you have over your data

If you have an account on this site, or have left comments, you can request to receive an exported file of the personal data we hold about you, including any data you have provided to us. You can also request that we erase any personal data we hold about you. This does not include any data we are obliged to keep for administrative, legal, or security purposes.

Because there's nothing we creative folk love more than processing GDPR requests.

Where your data is sent

Visitor comments may be checked through an automated spam detection service.

Not you though, Crystal. I've got your website bookmarked and I can't wait to find out what college girls get up to in the dorms.