I've been hinting that the bad news about my temporary break from Durham Dramatic Society becoming permanent was only half the story. I had to hang fire on the other half first because I needed to get some things sorted behind the scenes. Then because I wanted to allow a cooling off period between notifying the relevant people of my decision and going public with it. However, those things have now been done and I can finish the story. And, unfortunately, the full story is a lot worse than what I've previously announced, and has wider consequences than petty amateur dramatics politics.

I'll get straight to the point:

I will not be running the City Theatre for Durham Fringe this year. I wanted to, but circumstances have made this impossible for me.

I will still be getting involved in Durham Fringe, but I am only donating my time to acts who I already have a good working relationship with. For everyone else (either individual acts or Durham Fringe itself), I will be available if you need me - but I will have to charge.

Here's why ...

I had been unhappy with the way Durham Dramatic Society was going, but the one bit of the job I loved was running the City Theatre for Durham Fringe. Between 2021 and 2023, I played host to numerous acts, with both my experience of technical work and my knowledge of my way around the City Theatre to make this all possible. It was hard work keeping on top of this, but I gladly put in all the hours needed to make this a success. I've made some wonderful friendships from this, and I would never have had the courage to pitch It's Not Cluedo to the Rotunda without the support and encouragement of many of the acts I worked with during my time at Durham.

I was always under the impression I was doing everybody a favour. For Durham Dramatic Society, I saw to it that the City Theatre was a viable venue, and now Durham Fringe is the Society's biggest earner after the mainstream productions - and I can attest the society most definitely needs the money. For Durham Fringe's part, I can categorically say there is NO WAY the City Theatre would have functioned without my presence. (I suppose it could have worked if Durham Fringe had redeployed volunteers from other venues, but they were already stretched thinly enough amongst the other venues.) I willingly did this for free because I loved the idea of having a fringe in Durham, I wanted it to succeed, and it was in all our mutual interests that it did. Even when relations with DDS were at their worst, this one worked out fine for everybody: we might have had different ideas of how adventurous DDS's own productions should be, but Durham Fringe got me involved in things that DDS would otherwise never go near.

However, 2023 I was massively overworked. Although there were fewer performances than 2022, there were more acts, and it turns out the sheer number of get-ins pushes one person's endurance to the limit. This feeling was common throughout the venues, and everybody agreed that something needed to be done about it. I stayed out of discussions for a solution, because the solution all other fringe organisations use (pretty much) is to pay their techies. For obvious reasons, I did not want to be actively pushing for a solution that would benefit me financially. I was nonetheless concerned that - as one of the people this would affect the most - I was being kept completely out of the loop and not consulted at all.

Then I got wind that Durham Fringe was planning to use an agency to take the lead with tech instead of the existing volunteer techies. With still no information communicated to me, I checked what was going on, and it turned out there was communication over my availability, but it was ruled out when Durham Dramatic Society told Durham Fringe I was no longer involved in the society. It was based on that, so Durham Fringe informed me, they made the decision to bring in a new professional technicians from an agency, one of which would be placed in the City Theatre. I was welcome to stay on as one of the "volunteer technicians" supporting the "professional team".

There's just one problem: what Durham Dramatic Society told Durham Fringe about me behind my back simply isn't true.

Nothing has changed in my relationship with Durham Dramatic Society between 2023 and 2024. When I told Durham Dramatic Society I was suspending most activities in the society, I said I wanted to continue doing the Durham Fringe work, and that was agreed to. Durham Fringe were aware of the situation and were fine with it. If anything, I am more involved now than I was this time last year, because I have provided some sort of tech support for three of their last six plays. Now, I am going to be very kind here and keep open the possibility that this was a misunderstanding. Because the less charitable interpretation is that whoever told Durham Fringe that knew I'm still involved in the society, knew how much Durham Fringe meant to me, and told untruths anyway as some act of petty revenge.

I am not angry with Durham Fringe - I am merely furious with the leadership of Durham Dramatic Society. I accept they took information about me in good faith, unaware that it wasn't true. Maybe one bit of good practice we can adopt for the future is to actually run this past the person concerned (especially if you know there is a rift between the parties involved - which Durham Fringe did), but it's too late to change course now.

My reason for stepping back has instead come down to something quite different: the ethics of working for free.

As most of you are aware by now, I do all of my theatre stuff on top of a full-time job. Now, I could go into much detail about all of the grief that comes from having a normal career alongside a creative career - and one day I probably will - but there is one area where I have a big advantage: nothing that happens in my arts career is any real threat to my livelihood. I can say no to things I don't feel like doing. I sometimes fail to get jobs I thought I had in the bag, but I never have to worry about missed mortgage payments. I can work for free if I like, and I sometimes do. But I must never forget that other people who do similar jobs to me don't have these luxuries. So the one red line I set myself is that I do not undercut other arts professionals by doing work for cheap or free, if it could reasonably have been paid work.

For 2021 to 2023, there are two reasons I've given myself for doing this. Firstly, Durham Fringe was a new organisation, there was no knowing what its cash flow would be like, and we were all putting our time in unpaid to make this work. Secondly, with Durham Dramatic Society also an amateur organisation, I also saw this as a collective effort of everybody putting in their time to keep a theatre going. As far as I'm concerned, Durham Dramatic Society have forfeited the claim to the latter. As for the former: I don't believe this applies any more. Judging by the size of the audiences I see coming into the theatres, there is easily enough cash flow coming to pay the tech operators.

But the absolute red line for me is paying some staff but not others. I cannot in all conscience work in a system where - intentionally or not - some people making money off the backs of other people's free labour. So I'm now saying the quiet bit out loud: I am firmly of the view that Durham Fringe should pay ALL its tech operators, if not the entire production workforce. And if it means passing the costs on to performers, so be it. This is perfectly normal practice amongst all other fringes, and I do not know of a single organisation Durham Fringe's size that doesn't work this way. I'm not going to go to war with Durham Fringe over this. And I'm not going to tell other volunteers where they should or shouldn't be putting their time. But I'm in the unique situation where I often work professionally. That makes me a free substitute for someone who has skills and experience to full professional standard. I can't justify this to myself any more.

Anyway, here we are ...

I'm aware that some of word-of-mouth publicity of Durham Fringe on the fringe circuit has been through me. If you applied to the City Theatre and were looking forward to working with me, I'm sorry - I was looking forward to working with you too. Not bothered either way if I get takers for paid tech operation work. In case you're interested, my rates will be comparable to rates charged by other fringe venues. I am quite happy to go over and above normal tech work and do sound design for you if you like - that will be a freebie. (I'm also happy to offer the same for lighting design, but I'm not certain I'll be in a position to offer extra owing to the limited time available in the venues. Oh, and I'll give photography a go too, but I'd recommend asking other people first - although I can at least guarantee actually turning up.)

As for what happens after this year, I have told Durham Fringe that I hope we can learn lessons from this year, take a step back, and establish a new different more constructive relationship for the future. I hope, when we have this conversation, they will remember the many hours of work I put into this because I believed in it. Nothing much is likely to happen before September - most of the people I am currently reaching out currently have their hands full with Edinburgh Fringe. After that, everything is on the table.

But I will say this now: I may be stepping away from working directly with Durham Fringe this year - but I will never turn my back on fringe artists in Durham. My loyalty will always be with the local grass roots. If have something you want to show the world but are denied the chance to perform it ... rest assured, I am on your side. Durham Fringe is a VAST improvement on the time when there "local" representation meant importing talent from Newcastle and saying that was the same thing, but as long as there is a single fringe act who is shut out, the job is not done. The most successful fringes in the country are all about inclusion, not exclusion. And whatever I decide to do from here will be driven by inclusion.

I want to make an opportunity out of a setback. I intend to be back soon with something better. And I hope it will be part of Durham Fringe. Until then, everybody, never stop believing in yourself. And never think you need permission to show what you can do.

Footnote: For the record, when I last performed at Durham Fringe in 2022, I paid my techie even though I didn't have to. The only time I didn't pay my techie for The Rats in the Walls was one occasion where the techies declined my offer. Don't intend going on a moral crusade over this, but I nonetheless have to set an example.